I suck at Poetry (Huzzah!)

Once lived a lad dubbed Gafled
A name as hideous as an ass (as in donkey).
Gafled was hairy and warty
And oh! All the gas he would pass.
But Gafled was cunning and crafty
he fashioned a name out of air
He called himself Gafled the Gassy,
and sold all his farts for a fare.

Oh Once there was a Peruvian Needle,
A Peruvian Needle so soft.
And butter was her name,
So smooth was her game,
That she succesfully sewed microsoft.
(pun intended)

Once born a Prince of Thinelorford,
Larry was doomed to his death,
Of murder and treachery and horror
Because Larry's mom used Crystal Meth.
And thus Larry walked kind of funny,
He trilled and he jumbled his words
Yes, Larry was Prince of the dummies,
But Larry The Awesome he preferred.

Poems are so good when I'm tired,
I rhyme things that never could fit.
My head hurts but I was inspired,
to write down the things I could writ.

So now I continue my nonsense,
I subconsciously dream of my bed.
About hereto-s and whither-s and whence-s
so I think I'll just lay down and die.

(See what I did there?)